Yoyo Ma, an accomplished cellist, believes in the integration of the arts into sciences. I, on the other hand, think that is bologna. Science is based on facts. Art is conceptual, you can bend and twist anything into however, or whatever, you want to perceive it as. In math, for example, two plus two will never equal the sadness that you feel inside; but a painting of the depths of the sea might. While writing a piece of music, no one ever has taken a moment to calculate the inside curve of a half note. If we create STEAM as opposed to leaving it as STEM, we may also be forgetting our natural ways and the difference between right and wrong. Not everything is as open-ended as it seems! There needs to be a difference between hard science and the talent of painting a picture.
I like how you clearly identified what you thought about integrating art with science. However, there are a few points I would like to address. First, some of your idea are a little confusing and need to be explained because I didn’t quite follow. What do you mean by “forgetting our natural ways and losing our sense of right and wrong?” I think this is a really interesting thought but it could use some explanation. Next, I think you should start your paragraph with your own ideas and then choosing one of Yo-Yo- Ma’s specific ideas or quotes to refute with one of your own. Instead, you mentioned him once at the beginning and then didn’t mention him for the rest of the paragraph.
I like your argument and agree with some of your points on how the integration of art isn’t practical. I would recommend to add some factual arguments into an writing like this to make it seem as though you have more a point than an opinion. For example you could talk about the logistics of what someone would do with their art knowledge in a career sense. It’s an easy and effective argument to talk about how a STEM career is more valuable and reliable than a career in the arts. Otherwise your argument was strong, just stray away from opinions and rely on facts.
Isabel, this line, “In math, for example, two plus two will never equal the sadness that you feel inside,” made me laugh with delight.